In 1979, while pastoring in Mansa, Dr. Pardon Mwansa met his wife Judith.
Dr. Mwansa had two things he was looking for in a wife-to-be.
“She had to be somebody I loved and I was attracted to. Without that, even if she was a Christian, I wouldn’t have married her. I had to be attracted to her,” Dr. Mwansa says.
Another vital criteria for Dr. Mwansa was one centered on Christian values, a thing he says was a must-have for a future wife.
“One whose Christian values reflected mine was a must. That was non-negotiable and the reason was when her values are closely aligned to mine, we would have fewer issues,” Dr. Mwansa says. For Dr. Mwansa, a future wife was one who believes in values such as marriage as a lifetime commitment, marriage as a commitment to each other whether in sickness or in health.
He adds that he was looking for a woman who understood that children’s upbringing in the way of God’s desires was a must.
The couple describes their 38 years of marriage as a normal marriage that does not have the usual challenges.
“Our marriage is normal and where we have experienced situations, we would go on our knees to pray, and God has been faithful. God always answers our prayers. We have not gone to our parents to say that things are rocky,”
The couple’s early days were a little unique because Dr. Mwansa, as an administrator, had to be away from home for days.
The couple says their children have all embraced Christian values and they all had to go to Christian schools, from primary to tertiary education.
“Our home stability has been anchored on the church, Christian schools giving birth to a home where vices such as drug abuse and violence have not found space,” Mrs. Mwansa says.
The couple does not have regrettable or striking situations in their home because they have learned to co-exist.
“We have learned that anything that comes in a negative way will calm down. There are times when we have had really hot situations but keeping at home, living with hope, and trusting that the turbulence will at one point calm down has helped,” the couple says.
The couple says they have learned to understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
Describing their marriage life, the Mwansas say it is a home where happiness abounds. Dr. Mwansa says, “We love one another, We thrive on knowing that we are both there for each other in whatever situation and that gives us comfort.”
Dr. Mwansa says for couples, whenever there is a challenge or irritation, the best way is to walk out of the situation and not marriage.
“Please, take a walk. By the time you come back, you would have calmed down,” Dr. Mwansa says.
The couple sums up by saying respect, healthy sexual life and the management of finances will lead to a healthy marriage. The two got married on December 18, 1983, in Mansa.
(Original article written by DOREEN NAWA and published by Zambia Daily Mail Newspaper on February 24, 2019.)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Pardon K. Mwansa
Currently functions as a Vice-chancellor at Rusangu University has served various positions as a minister in the Seventh-day Adventist Church for 40 years. He is married to Judith Mwansa and has four adult children. He is the author of Personal Finance (Basic Money Management Skills and Biblical Values).
